I'm pretty sure almost no one I know reads my blog, so I can be pretty safe in saying what I want. Well, here it goes:
I love her and I always will. I know I've talked like this before but maybe saying it more often will fade the love, like how your favorite shirt or pair of pants gets faded over the years. See, it's not just that I love her. It's that I've never met a woman that I've been this crazy about. I've always known I've wanted kids but I've never met someone that I've actually wanted to have kids with. I want her to be the mother of my children. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want us to create and be a family. I imagined seeing the world with her. Watching the sunset and then watch it rise again. But you can't have everything in this life.
One of my favorite movies is 'Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind'. If you've never seen the movie then go and watch it. It's great. I saw it in the theater about six months before I met the love of my life. Basically the movies about two people who truly love each other but, to much shit gets in the way, so what do they do. They end up erasing each other from their respective minds. But they end up finding each other any way and since they don't remember anything of there lives together they end up getting back together.
I didn't know it at the time but the only thing that keeps true love from flourishing is our own stupidity. The stupidity that we as human beings can't let some things go. I've been thinking a lot lately about whether or not I could be with her again. I came to the conclusion that I'm pretty sure I couldn't (what could she say that would make things different?) but at the same time I wish nothing more than to hold her next to me. I'm pretty sure I know which would win out at the end of the day.