It is 4 am as I write this. I can not sleep even though I want nothing more than the sweet release of slumber. I have come to the conclusion that there is infact something wrong with me. I don't know what it is, but it's under the surface of my being. It scares me not knowing what is going on. I could be depressed, yes, in fact I'm almost sure of it. But there's something else there. I've never felt or had to deal with anything like this before.
I must sound like a lunitic. Doesn't suprise me. Every night for hours I feel like one. I feel the real me, the true me, slowly being replaced by something trying to act as me. It doesn't understand what I'm about or how I do things, but it tries just the same.
Where do I go for help when I can't even explain what's wrong? How do I stop it when I can't see it, feel it, touch it? During the day, I'm me, free to do as I please. At night it comes out and takes over.
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God help me.