Movie Theatre Etiquette

Tonight I saw Hancock at the AMC in Victoria Gardens. Nothing wrong with the theatre (other than than the horrible bass bleed through the wall from another movie). Nothing was wrong, except for the people. Why, oh why, would you bring your 6 month old to a movie at 10.40 on a Friday night. You might think that the goohing and gahgah noises your shit and spit bucket is making during the movie is cute but NO ONE ELSE DOES. Look, I have a 6 month old nephew that lives in the same house as me. He's extremely cute, especially when he scoots/jumps/crawls over to me (all the while making cute baby faces and noises) but I would never ever in a million years take him to a fucking movie. Don't do it people, it's stupid and wrong. So, I've decided to come up with some rule of etiquette for going to the movies. Here they are: 1) Do not bring any child under the age of four to a movie theatre, period. If your child is four or over but still in single digits, then, they can not see anything PG-13 or over, period. I don't want my monster movie ruined by your child's crying cause your an idiot. 2) Do not get pissed off when someone tells you to be quiet. There's a reason your ass is being called out in the middle of a movie. Before inserting foot into mouth, check your self, your most likely in the wrong. Shut the fuck up and enjoy the show. 3) Cell phones off or on vibrate and don't you dare answer that fucking call you just got from your babies momma. We don't want to hear your drama, we want to see Angelina Jolie tits, and your ruining our spank bank image with your voice. 4) Just because no one is in front of you does not give the go a head to start kicking the chair. It shakes the whole god damn fucking row and frankly makes the girl giving me head scrape her teeth on my rod. Do you want teeth scraped on your junk? I thought not. 5) Finely, we all paid to be here and then gave our right arm and first born to get some shitty popcorn and an Icy. Please, be quiet, sit still, and watch the movie. I really didn't think this had to be done. But I guess I was wrong (not the first time). If you see anyone exhibiting these behaviors please show them this, maybe, just maybe, they'll learn something.