Parrot

I want a parrot. Why you ask? Well, sit on down and I'll tell you exactly the reason behind my longing for a bird that can talk. Let me paint the picture for you... Your on you way to my house for an evening which will include dinner, dessert, talk, and ofcourse a movie. You come to my door nock on it and wait...not to long ofcourse but just long enough for me to open the door and invite you in. You've been to my house many times before so there's no need for me to tell you where everything is. Although I do let you know when dinner will be served...which will be in ten minutes. You make your way into my family room and notice that I have a parrot but not any kind of parrot One of those $1,200 parrots that you see at Petsmart or Petco. You think to your self, "hmmmm when did he get that" then "I wonder if it talks". It opens it's beak and spouts "rrhaaa, whose leg do I have to hump to get a dry martini around here, rrhaaa". Your surprised but before you can ask any more questions it's already spewing more "rrhaaa, oh yea, oh yea, do me baby, do me harder, rrhaaa". Your horrified that such an animal could spout such digusting sentences. You find me and ask, "Chris when did you get the parrot and why did you teach it all those nasty things." I answer, "First, I didn't teach Doobie anything and second about a week ago it just flew into my house from an open window. I fed it some crackers and now it won't leave." You continue to ask me questions. All the while Doobie (whose the parrot) keeps on saying things like, "rrhaaa, stop blowing holes in my ship!, rrhaaa" and "rrhaaa, it's the dead nigger in my garage, rrhaaa". Oh yes, it will be a great day indeed...but I bet your asking yourself why I would want to buy and then teach a parrot all that...not so wonderful stuff. Well, cause I want to. I mean wouldn't it be funny if you where sitting at someones house and then suddenly a parrots starts flinging movie and/or naughty bedroom quotes? I think it would, which is exactly why I'm going to do it.....what you want to know some of the quotes I'm going to teach my parrot. I thought you'd never ask. You've already seen some of them but here's some others that I have in mind...can you figure out what movie, show, or person there from? "Dead men tell no tales..." "Have you ever given a guy a foot massage?" "Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken." "I don't care if she's my cousin or not, I'm gonna knock those boots again tonight." "Be Stoic, mother fucker" "Say hello to my little friend!" "And while we're at it we can light up a dubey and watch porn." "We should have shotguns for this." "Bob had bitch tits." "How'm I gonna get a scar like that eating pussy?" "Does he look like a bitch?" "Oh man, I shot Marvin in the face." "They look like a couple of dorks." "Most transvestites fancy girls." "Sorry baby but I had to crash that Honda." "We say 'herbs', because there's a fucking 'H' in it!" "Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead." "Thank you for flying Church of England, cake or death?" "Where does he get those wonderful toys?" .....I know, I can't wait either.