You win some.....you lose some, right? Isn't that the way it's supposed to work? Then how come it never seems like I'm winning? I can already here someone saying that the problem with that sentence is the "seems". I guess I could be so blind that I never see myself winning but then again don't I have to win at something to make a comparison between the two? It seems that everything that I actually want and try to accomplish I fail at. Does that mean I'm forever going to be a failure or just one to my own eyes? Does it really matter if I'm not really a "failure" if all I can see are my losses? Or am I just looking at this all the wrong way? I just want one thing......just one. I want to win at something that I actually care about. Maybe I'm just asking to much or maybe I need to understand that I'm here to be the one that loses. I don't know what's worse being the fat guy or being the guy that always loses. I guess I don't really have to think about it to much since I'm both. Oh well, you got to play with the cards life has dealt you, right?
Invisibility, and Life, and Religion! Oh My!
I'm going to try something different with this entry. I know that most of you are actively anticipation the "parrot rant" but your going to have to wait just a little bit longer for it. I want to give my full undivided attention to it and frankly I just can't do that right now. But what I can do is comment on some of the things that I've seen my friends writing in there weblogs. So I guess I'll just jump right into it.
I want to talk about invisibility first off. No, not in the way that your thinking. I'm talking about how some people think there "invisible" to everyone else. Basically they think that no one ever notices them. Those of you who know me might have heard me talk about how I don't think I have nearly a profound influence on people around me as I might want to believe. I've also been known to say, "The sun will rise whether your there to watch it or not." and "Tomorrow will come, time will move forward, and peoples memory of me will fade." I say these two things because, as I said before, I don't believe that I have a big influence on people. Where this isn't exactly like being "invisible", it's pretty close. See here's the thing, everyone has an influence on everyone they come in contact with. Sometimes you have a big influence and sometimes you only have a small one but either way you always are influencing someone. Your never "invisible" now matter how much you think you are.
Now I want to talk about having a "life". If your alive, breathing, and doing something....don't you have a life(ok not a great one but it's one none the less).. I guess what I'm saying is, just because you don't go out every night or have great adventures on the weekend doesn't mean that you don't have a life. Yes, you might not be living your life to the fullest but then again who's to say that your not? You don't have to go out, get drunk, have a party every weekend, or visit other countries to live your life to the fullest. It's more of a personal preference then a universal truth. For all I know Person A might like to go out with there friends where Person B might like to sit at home watching TV. Does that mean Person A has a life and Person B doesn't? Hell no. It just means they like to do different things. So please people, stop telling your friends that they need to get a life because they most likly already have one.
Finally I want to talk about religion. Right off the bat I have to say that I believe in God and he (I actually think God's an it but it's just easier to say he) is very much apart of my life but I'm not part of any relegion so please don't group me in with any. With that said I can now move. The United States of America is not a Christian country. Sorry to break this to you guys but it's not. That's why we have to seperate church and state because in this country you can practice any religion you want. Which means that if you have one religion in a public school then you have to have them all and frankly there's just not enough money in the world to pay for that. I think I'll move on to something a little more positive now. It's a great thing when you truly believe and integrate your religion into you life. It's something I could never do put I highly respect anyone who does. One last thing...... Everyone, and when I say everyone I mean everyone one on the planet, should be respectful of others religions. I don't think it should come to the point where everyone is stepping on egg shells when they start talking about religion. They just should be respectful and understanding of others beliefs. Really it's not that hard.
That's it. I'm done.........Your still here.........Don't you have something to do........... Somewhere to go............No? Ok, why don't your read some of my old entries and comment on them.....Yea, now you leave.
Gremlins
I Chris Golde solemnly swear that before I die I will create an entourage of gremlins to follow me around and do my bidding. Uhhggg....I won't make them do anything bad. Damn you guys have no faith....none at all. I mean can't a guy create a legion of horrible genetically altered animals (altered to look like gremlins of course....yes they'll look like the ones from the movies) and not want to take over the world? That's what I thought. No, no he can't.....wait I mean yes, yes he can because that's what I'm going to do.
Yes that's right folks I'm going to genetically alter animals till I get the perfect looking gremlins. I'll take the eyes from cats, to get the big eye look. Ears from bats and mix it with rabbits ears to get just the right size. I'll take the skin from snakes and dogs to get the right mixture of fur and scales. Then I'll take the body of a spider monkey (minus the take) and mix it with the human skeleton to get the right stature. Then I'll make them incapable of having babies....they'll be able to do the nasty....just nothing will come of it. Who wants millions of gremlins running around? It just wouldn't be a good thing. Oh, just to clarify....I'll be taking the genetic make up of these body parts not the actual parts....that would just be gross....and messy.
Before you know it I'll have a couple hundred gremlins cooking, cleaning, driving, and really doing anything and everything I don't want to do. I can see it now......I'll be in the back of my car. There'll be one gremlin steering while two (four if the cars a stick) are at the accelerator and brake. I'll be watching the play that five thespian gremlins will be putting on in front of me. It'll a rendition of Shakespeare's Macbeth. During the intermission I'll look through the back window to see the dozen street skiers (like water skiers only on streets) going through their fifth routine. This routine is the one were they get into a triangle formation. The gremlin at the top will give his ski rope to one of the gremlins underneath him. As he straightens up he'll be hit by an over pass upon witch he'll topple to the ground, get up and start running after us. I (and the rest of the gremlins for the matter) will be laughing our asses off. I'll tell the gremlins driving to pull over so we can get the one that fell. They'll pull over and I'll get out with my gremlin cheerleaders in toe. All the while they'll be doing cheers to encourage me. You know stuff like: 2, 4, 6, 8 who do we appreciate! Chris! Chris! or Give me an G, give me an O, give me a C, give me a H, give me a R, give me a I, give me a S...what's the spell....GO CHRIS!. It'll be great. I can't wait.....I think I'll go get started by extracting some DNA from my cat.......here kitty, kitty, kitty. That's a good kitty. Now this needle won't hurt....hey come back here. Well, got to go. I got a cat to catch.
A Look Back On 2003
It's that time of year again. That's right, let's take a look back on what happened this year....wait, fuck that. They do that every year. I'm going to do something different this year. I'm going to take a look back at what would have been cool to happen this year.
January 2, 2003 - Chris Golde wins 7 billion dollars. President Bush declares Jan. 2 "Chris Golde Day" and a national holiday. Chris jumps up and down upon finding this out. After two full minutes of this he is hit in the back of the head with a skinned cat. His robber runs off with his 7 billion dollars and his belly button lint (I know, I know. The guys a creep but I'm just reporting this stuff, not making it up.....oh wait. I am making it up....damn I'm sick). Chris goes into a coma from the force of the blow.
January 3, 2003 - Chris Golde wakes up to find out his coma was really fucking short. He felt jipt. That same day he finds out that Nurse Joy (yes that's her name. First name Nurse, last name Joy) is the most beautiful women on the plant. 2 seconds later he realizes that he's hadn't been wearing clean underwear. He curses him self for not listening to his mother. Nurse Joy hears him and say it wouldn't of mattered anyway because when he was nocked unconscious he soiled himself. Chris feels utterly embarrassed till Nurse Joy tells him that she's into that kind of stuff and that she wants him. Chris is shocked, disgusted, shocked again, intrigued, flattered, shocked once more, then oddly feels hungry which is then followed by another set of "shocked" and "disgusted".
January 13, 2003 - Chris Golde meets Joe Rossi......and now for something completly different.
January 20, 2003 - Canada declares war on Mexico saying "Were tired of Mexico always getting all the attention from the US. We need love too." Mexico replies "Grow up you fucker. All the world know that your the US' favorite."
Febuary 6, 2003 - A guy picks up a rock, throws it into a bush and leaves.
Febuary 7, 2003 - Gary Coleman is found dead in a bush with pants around his ankles. Cause of death was determint to be from a rock thrown at his head. Police suspected Willace.
Febuary 12, 2003 - Police decide Willace didn't do it because they couldn't understand what he was talking about.
May 26, 2003 - Nothing happened on this day, which is why I'm mentioning it. No one on the planet earth did anything.....the next day everyone went back to normal and never mentioned May 26, 2003 ever again....till just now.
June 16, 2003 - Jesus came back but forgot his wallet and procede to reschedule the end of the world. Everyone on Earth was to busy watching American Idol, Survivor, and a apperiction of the Virgin Mary in a tolet to even noticed he had been on earth.
September 22, 2003 - Chris relizes that he has his own day and declares that no one in the lower 48 states shall drink red wine on "Chris Golde Day" (which ofcourse is one January 2). Someone reminds him that he forgot about Hawaii and Alaska upon which Chris replies "I don't care what Hawaii and Alaska do."
September 23, 2003 - Chris publicly apologizes saying "I do care what Hawaii and Alaska do but they are big boys now and can take care of themselves." A reporter askes him if he relizes that he's talking about some states not real people. On this remark Chris yells at him stating that they are real people and then procedes to run away crying.
November 9, 2003 - Joe Rossi is given a second birthday and a free sunday.
December 23, 2003 - This entry ends cause the writer no longer wants to write it.
Ok, so maybe it wasn't such a good idea. Although I think Canada and Mexico fighting over the US' love is a funny idea.....I'm done.
Pennies
Take a penny....leave a penny. I want to know who came up with that and when. It had to have been sometime in the last 20 years because if you go any farther back, then a penny would of actually been worth something. Which brings me to this idea. What if "Take a penny, leave a penny" has been around for 30 years or more. That would mean that people were truely more giving in the past then they are now. Seems kind of strange to me. We live in a time when we have more money then we have ever had before and what do we do with it. We give it to our selves. Not friends or family and God forbid that we give it a charity of some type or even the the bum on the corner. Nope we all use it on ourselves.
I was listening to the radio the other day and a commercial came on. It was an ad for a car dealer ship. Nothing weird or different about that but what was different is how they were trying to sell you a car. They weren't giving you cash back, a free wax job, or a quickly with the "office hottie" in the broom closet (come on, like you havn't had that fantasy). They were trying to get you into the dealership by telling you that you've been spending all you hard earned cash on everyone else this holiday season, so why don't you come on in and get something for yourself. Am I the only one that finds that wrong? Isn't the holiday season supposed to be about not thinking about what you want but what others want and/or need? Or did someone change it this year and just forget to send me the memo. I didn't think I missed any memo, either. What is this world coming to. Hopefully I'm wrong and the world isn't getting more gready but has actually been this greedy from the beginning. I can live with the worlds attitude not changing. I can't live with the worlds attitude getting worse as the years and generations go by. It would be like being on a sinking ship knowing that you can do nothing but wait for the cold depths to take you to your final resting place. Hopefully the people of this world will wake up and find out that there's more than just themselves out there.